Weddings are overrated 

Happy Tuesday Everyone. I am sure everyone that goes to an office is looking forward to friday. On a bright note, three more work days for the week. Back to the matter, yes i strongly believe weddings are overrated. I will discuss some decisions i made which i am pleased with and some others which i am remorseful about.

Things i Did in no particular order

1. I decided to have a minimal role in the planning of the traditional marriage. This decision was great, until the tail end i got dragged in and ended up in a big fight with hubstar. I felt like i was between my husband and my father. In hindsight, the traditional was a big waste of money. Imagine, the alaga started the event 4 hours late, i didnt even eat, half of the guests from Abuja had left by the time we danced etc. if i was to make the decision again, a palour/living room event would have been ideal.

2. I spent  less than N150,000 on 3 outifts along with accessories for the traditional. Good decision. Not worth anything more. 

3. The decision to go away for the formal. One of my best decisions in life. And considering i lost my brother in law exactly a month after, i am glad he went out with that bang before he went to meet Jesus.

4. I love my wedding dress, vera wang and all. Minus my jewelry which i had purchase since 2007, this was by far my most expensive wedding purchase. I could have lived out my dream for something simpler and a fraction of the cost. 

5. My husband and i love Japanese food, it was an awesome japanese buffet for the formal. We couldnt have pulled this off in Nigeria. 

6. The choice not to have bridal train was awesome, stress free. My one maid decided to get a funky tan before hand. Lol. It didnt quite disrupt anything, she just opted to have her hair done down.

7. I should have packed my own makeup and done it myself. No to white people doing wedding makeup. 

8. Should have just rented the speakers for the reception instead of paying the dj. Lol. The best man turned himself into a dj.

9. After the blessing portion of the ceremony we had no order of service for the recption. I totally loved this. Only an opening prayer.  Everyone began to eat, we cut our cake and gave our thank you speech and had our first dance   Mother and son, father daughter etc. after that we opened the dance floor and then we went to eat. My dad and father in law were doing the shoki by the time we started eating.

10. Paying a credible photographer for photos and albums. I am still struggling to build our albums. We have digital copies of all the pictures from our events, but i am still sorting through. As you can tell its not a priority for me.

11. I wish i had Taken more scenic pictures in Zanzibar with my husband before the wedding in our outfits.

12. Prewedding pictures…..our inverter caught fire the day we took these after enough deliberation. We ended up not even using the pictures.

13. I did all the decor for the formal. Well worth it as we spent less than $200 on all the decor and touches for a 60 guest wedding.

The thing i have realised about weddings is we often barely remember them but we are guilted into spending so much money on them and focusing our damn resources on them that we often fail to realise thats where the fairy tale actually ends. Reality sets in for most right after. 

I do want a vow renewal for the fifth year though. Maybe bora bora.

My point is there is no such thing as a perfect wedding, so no point in killing oneself.

NESTR

OAD

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5 Comments on Weddings are overrated 

  1. My dear, i totally agree with you. On my wedding day, it rained like crazy, I basically was in shock when I got to the reception hall. It was like a market place. Some people gate crashed my wedding. They had rented the space outside and when the down pour started they helped themselves to the hall, seeing that the priest refused to release us from the church service.

    I basically told my self I must groove cos, I just couldn’t believe that all the planning was a waste of time.

    Shortly after, the generator at the venue packed up, AC of course was out of it, the irony is that I took that hall/venue because of their “bad ass” Ac, that cools like crazy.

    The manager took to her heels, when my childhood male friend were looking for who to beat up. (LOL).

    The DJ, hmmm, his equipment he came with were acting up ( and he is supposed to be the best in that vicinity)

    My hubby kept consoling me, by saying don’t worry, we will have another wedding.
    It seems like years ago now.

    To all those that will listen, spend wisely and don’t be pushed to “meet up or keep up with the joneses”

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    • I read your comment last night night and I had a good laugh. I’m sure it wasn’t funny while it was happening.

      I had always wanted to go to the registry, share light refreshments there and go to my hotel room. And it happened that way and I still won’t change it. I’m glad hubby was ok with that, especially being the first son of his family. It was the traditional we had little control over as family took over. However, we were determined not to drink gari after the whole ceremony.

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  2. I love this. Hv always been an advocate of a simple wedding. Don’t want all d plenty extravaganza (esp if its coming out of my pocket, lolz) bt folks keep telling me that when the time comes, my wife to be will likely want a big wedding n stuff. Glad to see there are some ladies who don’t believe in breaking d bank for a wedding

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  3. Good to know there are ladies that are re-thinking the amount of financial expenses associated with most Nigerian weddings. Sad that most times, the ladies have to learn by personal experience. You’ve given some good pointers on how and where to cut down on wedding expenses and I would be looking forward to implementing such.

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  4. This right here is a perfect wedding,I use to tell my people I hate crowd and the waste of resources really get on my nerves. After the whole money spending,harsh words,argument and disagreement the day is over and you begin to think on what you would have done right. I wish brides would just adopt this method. You get to look at the pictures in future and remember every detail perfectly,unlike the big wedding,you won’t even recognize more than half of the guests.

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