No, not you literally, but i feel sorry for anybody especially Yoruba men who have more than one female child. I was having a conversation with my older cousin who has 3 daughters and one son. His oldest female child is 16 and about to go to the university soon. I had not seen him since my “wedding” last year.
My favourite adult learner aka my mother who is currently a UNILAG student had been harassing me all week to come and help her “look up” some stuff for her program. If i am not careful, look up turns into – ok just help me think about it and type it and email it to me. UNILAG students if you see my mom, just say hi “Mother pynk” – she is on that campus 4 days a week doing her 2nd masters. Lol. He was visting with her and we were gisting.
Anyway so “brother” and i were talking weddings. And i was trying to explain to him why i dont care much for wedding the way Nigerians have weddings. They are usually too crowded, and generally if you have been to one Nigerian wedding, you have been to all. There is often a level of disorganisation whether its in mushin or at the oriental. Its like either way you are paying for chaos. I met a wedding planner once who told me about a weddig she planned at the Oriental in Lagos. Total wedding costs about n40million- yes you read correctly – and the bride ended up in tears. Guests removed the chairs from the reserved tables and moved them to other tables forcefully. And the guests were willing to fight the ushers and security guards provided.
Minus the pictures, weddings in Nigeria just always seem stressful. I get upset when i think about my traditional wedding and how much was spent. Put simply the money could have started a tangible and profitable business and left change. People can buy apartments or even houses with the money spent on weddings, and start their lives.
Think about it, hall alone for many weddings is around N1 million for one event, food, band etc. If you go lower, half of the guests wont eat, or no drinks. My traditional, the hall flooded, because it rained heavily on the day of, they say showers of blessings-hmmm. I wont mention the name of the hall. Somewhere around Ikeja there.
Anyways i was saying to my big cousin that for me the whole thing was a waste and uneccessary excess and as far as i am concerned the only weddings worth celebrating are the registry and the actual solemnization. I think back to my formal in zanzibar, i went to the pool in the resort and went to the spa before the wedding. I didnt start getting ready till 3pm for a 5.30pm ceremony.
I had given instructions on my decor so it too me literrally 40 minutes to help with the setup. My maid of honour even went horse riding for two hours after. My mom and dad went sight seeing etc. Minimal stress. You are already making one of the biggest decisions in your life, whats with the added stress?
Big Cousin has 3 girls for which he has to start saving, because his first child can show up and say she wants to marry in another 7 years, at that point he has to pay for the thing. I really dont blame people who do strictly by invitation in Nigeria and then bounce uninvited guests hard. I was also saying, imagine half of these expensive weddings, some of them barely last a year after the monies have been spent.
Maybe there should be marriage probation. Initial wedding should be registry with just a priest or Alfa or religious officer of some sort solemnizing the union. Then a year later they can have a party? What do you think? That way maybe if things arent working, nobody will be shaming the couple to work it out because they spent n20 million to do wedding?
Oh yes congratulations to me, yesterday was my 10th month anniversary. My husband thinks it funny i count the months, but you have to celebrate and appreciate the little things.
ASUS Notebook PC – X55OCA SI3. The person with the highest number of comments total for the week wins the computer. Odds of winning are higher if you comment on every post this week April 20 to April 25 2015 midnight. Goodluck to everyone. Item will be picked up either in Ikoyi or Victoria Island.
Funny thing, the week i have a notebook to give out, my own laptop is misbehaving. Pretty pictures are limited on the blog for now since i am posting off my phone.
NESTR – Nothing Else Significant To Report