Just The Two of Us

A First Hand Account of A two Person Wedding Ceremony from my Brother. I am breaking my wedding rule for this one, its pretty special in my opinion.. Enjoy the pictures and Video, it might change your mind on how to get married or help you plan a vow renewal. Enjoy. Its possibly my favorite wedding after mine of course.

I consider myself extremely lucky to have a spouse who tolerates some of my more outrageous ideas….. think along the lines of scuba diving with sharks #YOLO. I have the benefit of being one of 3 males in my family, so no special position of occupancy like only daughter or first boy, none of that. When my better half and I decided on getting married, we did our small court thing (which is what truly matters in my opinion) and decided to do our wedding some time further down the line as work was taking me overseas for the next year or so.

My wife began the planning. I did my rough budget, my wife has a FAMILY. I don’t mean your cousins that show up from the village you haven’t seen, but a family that lives in the same locale; Brooklyn, NY. That brought up the number of guests to 150 instantly. I don’t have a massive pool of friends, but 100 of those with loose acquaintances, colleagues (don’t want to make anyone mad right?) where are we now? 250? Add in the 150 friends of my aunts, uncles, my wife’s friends and her peoples people. 400.

Americans do not have large weddings, 150 is considered quite excessive. And exclusion of some be damned, I was trying to accommodate. I had been to enough of these things to understand how they turned out. Anyone who has been to more than 5 Nigerian weddings in America can attest to certain commonalities; lack of food, food was packed 10 minutes after it showed up, fighting/begging for food, overcrowding…the list is endless. I inherited from my mother the absolute need to do things right at my events i.e. everyone must eat and be comfortable. I skyped with my wife, we put our spending at 50-60K USD (about 8-10million Naira) and we would be paying the vast majority of it.

My wife went out to look at a hall that we thought could house our circus. On her way out she had some car trouble….. the world works in wonderful ways. She says to me “babe, I really don’t think I am up for doing a real wedding, the stress doesn’t seem worth it.” Being a man and not really caring to dance to P square entering into a dirty catering (think public secondary school) hall in Brooklyn, I concurred. I started my research, I wanted to do something special because even after saying she didn’t want a wedding, this woman demanded NOTHING. She had mentioned a while back, before we were married, that when she was 17, she had seen a picture in magazine of an island in the south pacific, French Polynesia to be exact.

Bora Bora? Don’t you mean Tora Bora (where Osama and his cronies hid post 9/11)? “No, Bora Bora.”   

I started my search with simple phrases (it was going to be a surprise for her) ‘Bora Bora Wedding.’ I happened to stumble on the webpage of an amazingly talented photographer- Helene Havard – I emailed Helene and she listed the hotels she was contracted with one of which was the St.Regis. I figured, I am not blowing $50-$60k on a wedding, may as well go all out and enjoy this. St.Regis was billing at $1700 a night, with the wedding costing around $6k (flowers, photographer, videographer, traditional Polynesian dancers- I am a Half Yoruba man and like dancing) Dress, airfare , hotel, wedding, other enjoyment costs put me right around about half of what i would have spent in New York.

“A wedding with two is no wedding at all”-Family Member

To paraphrase a comment made to me by a family member (thankfully not an immediate one). I considered a few things 1.) I would be shouldering ALL of the financial burden. 2.) My wife was perfectly fine and at peace with the idea. 3.) When the lights dim, there are two people who ultimately exist in the marriage, me and her. That being said, I made all my preparations by email (remember, it was a surprise.)

Paradise

Being New Yorkers, we had to fly to LA first with a follow up flight to Papeete (Tahiti) and then an inter island transfer to Bora Bora. Flying into the tiny airport, I’m sure it doesn’t even have a name, you get an amazing view of the tiffany blue (I think thats the only color that describes it) water, dotted with overwater bungalows. On arrival, everyone split up for their respective hotels (they all sit on water), Hilton, Intercontinental, Le Meridien and of course the St.Regis. Immediately I saw what I had paid for; private boat ride from the airport to the hotel, check. On docking, hotel manager 2 butlers with warm towels, champagne and some sort of candy. The a** kissing was in full effect.

The Wedding

The pampering is second to none, really, you like your ass kissed? Seriously, stay here! The stress of the day? It rained earlier and our wedding planner had asked us a simple question, “do you want to do this thing tomorrow?” The ease of making that decision without worrying about 400 people! No we said, we will go ahead and do it today. No problem. She picked up my wife at 2pm and took her to the spa, she would be getting ready there while I got ready and drunk, in our room. I was taken to the spa, and this is where I saw my bride for the first time in front of a picturesque lake that they had somehow managed to channel there.

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Took some pictures, went to the stone bridge, took more pictures overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Wedding time. I walked my wife down the aisle, or rather we walked down it together. We met up with our town chief (what would a Yoruba wedding be without a chief)? Chief said some words and the ceremony lasted about 15 minutes or so if I recall, it was beautifully unique. Our dancers and drummers went into effect. We danced and took some more pictures. After our pictures we went back to our room for some more pictures. At which point we decided we would jump off our deck into about 15 feet of water….. that’s the infamous picture. After our immersion, we changed out of our clothes and dined by the beach.

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Thus ended my wedding day, I felt not one ounce of stress, I didn’t have anyone come tell me they hadn’t eaten, the fire marshal didn’t show up and threaten to close up my party because of over occupancy (yes I have seen it happen), the owner of the hall did not extort money from me to keep the party past a certain time. The Wedding turned out to be the best surprise I have ever planned, and also got in return. We really did jump into the Pacific Ocean.. check out the video.

You can watch the video here.

NESTR
OAD

PS: I am “trekking” into cyberspace to announce last week’s winner. I will do it by Wednesday at the latest I promise.

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20 Comments on Just The Two of Us

  1. Beautiful wedding, the us 2 is absolutely a fantastic idea.

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  2. The pictures and scenery is sublime.

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  3. Beautiful and personal but my parents and siblings would have gone berserk if I’d told them I wanted this kind of private wedding 🙂

    On the giveaways, it would have been a good thing if the tempo of the comments was sustained after the giveaway ended but… In addition some guys (two in particular) resorted to making trivial and irrelevant comments – all in a bid to win. You probably have to refine the rules OAD.

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  4. This is what I’m talking about! No stress,no shouting,no fighting. My peeps don’t have much choice because if I decide to run away and have this kinda wedding nothing will happen. I will just come back and send apology notes,Finito. I Love this wedding.

    @Oyesola I got scared at one point o when the comments just kept rolling in plus the relevant and irrelevant ones. Everyone is back to Their shell 🙂 It is well.

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  5. Awww. this is so beautiful! if only my parents will allow. i remember saying something about 100 guests at my wedding, my dad wanted to kill me. i’m sure he will faint if i try this. but its so beautiful i’m tempted to try it.

    i agree with you guys about the commenting thing too. i feel its not fair to OAD. haba at least try to continue small after the giveaway na. like Kiki said ‘it is well’.

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  6. lucynthia // May 18, 2015 at 17:30 // Reply

    OMG! I’m sooooooooooo inlove with this idea. Beautiful wedding. No stress @all. lol.
    My mother would cry for a yr I I try this. We would never hear the end of it.

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  7. Beautiful wedding.

    I agree with Oyesola , Zoe and Kiki. These top commenters never comment after the giveaway. Mami you need to do something about it. No be to comment because you want to win something and after you’ve won, we nor go see you here again.

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  8. Oyesola, kiki, zoe and ms lily, i noticed that with the top commenters . But i have to establish rules- if i pick winners based on my own criteria, some wont win anything at all. There is more to come, will keep refining the process sha. God help us.

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  9. Ditto on the comments. A suggestion might be to pick a winner and announce the criteria used in selecting the winner afterwards.

    I have kuku said it that you people are not normal in that your house. lol

    My oldest sis is the closest to crazy in my house, and she settled for 100 people after my mom almost went into depression about her “Ada” wanting to have a wedding with only immediate family members.

    Love the wedding idea though. They knocked out a grand wedding and a grand honeymoon all in one. Location looks heavenly.

    Now praying: God please send unlimited funds my way and unlimited vacation days so that i can venture into locations like this in my lifetime. sigh!

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    • Lol at ADA,remember when my elder sis was getting married gave my dad invites for the trad, the guy went ahead and printed his own copies extra to share Laff wan kill me

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  10. Lovely wedding but not for me…. I loved the wahala and the noise. Just thinking about it i wish i could relive it all over again but this time with more and more everything. lol

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  11. My folks prolly won’t allow me have a wedding of 2. Nah. Unless I wanna get a lecture.

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  12. Beautiful beautiful. Love the view. Father bless me and boo’s hustle to we can go to Ibiza.

    @ OAD, I strongly suggest you find a way to gift out gifts. Some comments were just too patronising.

    God bless your hustle. As you give, may you also receive.

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  13. This is a beautiful wedding! ! I envy their ability to achieve it. You can’t try this in 9ja unless u want to be skinned alive by your immediate family! !

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  14. I love this…this is how a wedding should be..stressless, beautiful and everything good
    My parents will never talk to me ever again if i try this thou
    But bora bora is on my honeymoon list

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  15. This is the loveliest wedding I have seen I all my days! And your brother..lol When I got to the part that the priest started speaking Tahitian, I just burst out laughing “this guy is crazy” the look on their faces tho… It was so beautiful and the location..? Fabulous! And his wife is so pretty…

    I’m pretty sure my parents will faint if I tell them I’m going to get married on some exotic Island and its just going to be me and the boo… But this is soo tempting.

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  16. I love love this, how your bro pulled the wedding off his own way.
    And it’s obvious they both had fun!

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  17. www.thelmathinks.com // May 20, 2015 at 00:23 // Reply

    So beautiful and picturesque. I can definitely see me doing this, but with our parents and siblings, and a handful of friends, ten at the most. Lifetitudes I wish I had your energy, I wish I can embrace stress and chaos. But alas, God didn’t build me that way *sniff*.

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  18. osas owen // May 20, 2015 at 02:48 // Reply

    This is so beautiful! My father would die if I try this. Lol

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  19. This is lovely and yes this is definitely a worthy exception to your rule on weddings. It brings many ideas to my head …. I really wish your brother and his boo nothing short of a fantastic married life.

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