I am not even sure what title to give this post. No I am not depressed, at least not to the best of my knowledge. I was busy reading a popular website – a woman had written in about how she had no social life. I began to wonder.
I am wondering if many people are ill-equipped to nurturing relationships, in terms of retaining older ones and birthing newer ones. I read somewhere recently that when you meet someone new, it’s easier to assume you are already friends with that person and you have something in common. So you just have to find that something. Sometimes I am disturbed by how friendly I can be…
You also hear a lot of singers shouting about “no new friends”- i think Drake sang that song. But what if the old friend’s times have expired in your life? Then goes the speech about all the backstabbing and such from new friends who want your life etc.
I am one of those people that dont believe in oversocialising – for me it is over stimulation. Given this trait, i tend to fall to the other extreme – undersocialising or not socialising at all…when i start noticing I have been indoors for more than 3 days or so, I create reasons to leave my house. Keep in mind I work from home and Lagos traffic is very unsexy.
As I get older, I work on being more deliberate in my actions- it includes my human relationships. Being on instagram doesn’t really help as sometimes you see people who are out everyday and you may wonder what is wrong with you. The truth is there maybe nothing wrong with you- its just not your thing. No one should be a complete recluse and in general no one should envy the next person for how freely it is they appear to live their lives…we should simply work on building genuine relationships with the people we come across during the course of whatever it is…
In life we are equipped with many of the skills we need to move forward. If you are a recluse and don’t want to be one- simply get up and go to an event. Offer to work on the serving line at a charity, offer to help someone plan an event, go to a free show, attend a church program etc. Never let loneliness seep into your life and eat at your fiber. No matter how much we think we have it together, you cannot exist in equilibrium without others. We need people and they need us…the capacity in which we choose to interact is totally up to us…we dont need to let people into every aspect of our lives, we can also tailor relationships based on our personalities.
Are you a recluse? Or are you struggling to build relationships? If yes…care to share?