Marriage and Childbearing

Hey good morning folks. How are you doing? Well as for me I am doing “a-alright”! I was havig a conversation with a friend lately and the discussion came up that someone who got married less than 6 months ago is pregnant.

My friend and I are along the same school of thought – meaning waiting to introduce children into a marriage. We all know that if a marriage gets bad enough – you can undo it (separation,  divorce and plain old walk away)! Children on the other hand you cannot undo. Many ills and such appear within the first year of marriage, delaying child bearing may help give folks a better idea of who they are dealing with- no?

I am of the belief that folks should give at least a year to their spouse in marriage before bringing in children  if it can be helped. I feel as though it gives a chance to truly bond or find out what the other person is about. Provided the mother to be is not older than 35 as her risk becomes more pronounced in pregnancy. Introducing children into a marriage early can have different results, for some people it brings them together, for others it forces them to stay together for the kids when neither or is happy.

No matter what anyone says, children change the dynamics of every marriage as most mothers struggle to balance their affection for the children with that for their spouse. Many pregnant women often forget about their husbands during pregnancy, talkless of after birth.

Are you married and did you start having kids right away? Is it society that makes folks want to pop babies right away? Or am i just weird and the sole purpose of marriage is to reproduce?

NESTR
OAD

6 Comments on Marriage and Childbearing

  1. I got pregnant almost immediately after i got married because it was what we both wanted. We had dated for 9 years before we got hitched so we were ready for a 3rd buddy. Children should be brought into a home and not a house with 2 people living in it so it makes sense for the couple to be a unit before procreating.

    3+
  2. I also got pregnant immediately after, not planned but the hubby was over the moon so I accepted it in good faith. It didn’t change anything, instead it brought us closer.

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  3. I also agree that couples should give a minimum of 6monthe to a year. Hubbyband i wanted same but kids came 5 months later despite all the moves to hold .lolz.

    We were both happy .

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  4. This reminds me of the Indian match-making scenario where you are being married off blindly and you are then required to get to love, know and live with the person. Only difference is in this case, separation or divorce isn’t allowed.

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  5. I understand your school of thought and I feel it should be applied…. Sometimes.
    I don’t believe in divorce and so it’s more a “what-you-see-when-you-open-your-marriage-package” is solely your panadol.
    I know people don’t like the general reliance people have on God in things they reckon to be resolvable with commonsense so you hear things like, ” Your hubby/wife is cheating / is hitting you and you are praying for them? Are you insane? Is it until she/he gives you HIV/kills you that you’ll borrow brain?”.
    But I believe God is the author of marriage and if you avail your marriage to him and apply godly wisdom to the unfavourable situations that tend to arise in marriage, you’ll attain success in it.
    Even in the case of DV, one can separate oneself from the abusive spouse but stay prayerful. Except the spouse dies.
    That’s just my stance on it- for me, if the bible didn’t say it, then there is no need to analyse it into my situation.

    That said, I got pregnant on the 3rd month after our wedding and as much as I wanted to get pregnant, it didn’t help that I was having unnecessary calls from friends and family all asking when they’ll come and eat rice.
    Go figure.

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  6. I got pregnant right after our wedding after datING for 2yrs…I was 26yrs old and hubby was 30…but that’s exactly how we wanted it. We wanted to have our children early and grow with them. And I have no regrets…our baby has brought us even closer and though it’s not child’s play being a parent…we won’t have it any other way.
    Different strokes for different strokes.
    For us…divorce is not an option…we believe we’re in this marriage for the long haul by God’s grace.

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