I am Convinced

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Hey everyone I am still here. I tell you in my mind I had posted this and moved along, only to find out that I hadn’t even typed it up. Today’s topic is airports – Nigerian ones in particular.

I have never been to a Nigerian airport and looked forward to travelling. If anything, the thought of going through the airport makes you actually want to travel less. I don’t care if you are in upper class or economy.  Let me explain.

Why do we have police cutting down the proper flow of traffic at a checkpoint so close to the actual terminal?  The checkpoints should be further away right after the parking lot. Next question why must I show my passport at the door as I put my luggage through the scanner? Isn’t there a better way to do this? There has to be….then the airline cross checks your passport number against a manual list – can’t a passport be scanned instead? After all you provide your passport information when you booked the flight. Why not the one stop shop you get at the counters in other countries? Even Baghdad International airport wasn’t this stressful during the war!

After they cross check your passport there is pathfinders scanning your bags with a machine – not even sure if they are scanning for explosives or drugs – why isn’t that done at the door? Then NDLEA or whoever it is that seems to be unable to identify themselves to you also want to paw through your bags and make inappropriate jokes. No I am not in the mood for your sh*t and if you decided to abandon your uniform at home and wear mufti, I will be asking to see your ID card.

Then you finally get to check in. Womp womp. You cross over to where one man is checking boarding passes to make sure you are really travelling.  Then another grown adult- immigration officer has the sole duty of handing out immigration cards – no one thinks it makes sense to give the cards to the airlines or the boarding pass checker so the immigration officer can actually examine passports and make the process more effective?  Oh then you finally reach the immigration counter – one person looks at the passport and then sends you to another counter to stamp. They are so unsure of themselves another immigration office checks again. Then you finally make it to metal detectors and deal with the folks there. Then NDLEA and Customes again accost you and ask you how much you are carrying.  In America it’s the immigration officer that deals with all this rubbish – one stop shop. Oh you thought you were done?

You have passed through all these meaningless points then somebody wearing jeans is feeling themselves and calls you over with no visible ID card. And starts asking questions and for your passport on the way to the gate – i had to tell one a while back that if they wanted to pull passengers over they needed to identify themselves. Don’t chat sh*t to me about handing you my passport when you haven’t identified yourself. Show me your ID – it is my right to know who you are…shior.

Are we done yet? Noooo that would be too easy – next you finally find the gate and wait till they call boarding. Aah you thought you were really boarding? Nope, they are just calling you once again to see your passport and boarding pass and body search you again 😅. After which they put you in a holding area with their useless TV that they show you telemundo on. You wait another couple of minutes again, at the air ramp they ask for your boarding pass again. One scanner at the beginning of the holding area can eliminate all this nonsense.

Nigerians have become such professionals at inefficiency that we pride ourselves in making life difficult for ourselves. All these lousy checks- human traffickers and drug pushers still get through. At best the system is inefficient in that it wastes time and resources. I forgot that is our job creation model.

Anyways the Plane left Lagos and London was welcoming this time minus the annoying passenger next to me. One over bleached OAP was also on my flight and kept staring at me – its not my fault I am brighter than my future these days. This London cold is not it though- I am ready to move on.

Lagos doh – how una dey? I saw the dollar rate and I was short of tears. I have concluded with all the stamp duties, ineffective CBN policies etc in Nigeria they are looking for how to reduce the population. They want to kill us.

I wish you a good weekend- mine should be interesting as I have been binge watching shows – netflix and chill with Hubstar. He is the one that puts me on to the shows – just finished dare devil and it was nice.

NESTR
OAD

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8 Comments on I am Convinced

  1. Lol. Seeing the process written out made me burst out laughing.

    Chief inefficiency officers is what we have. sigh

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  2. The process is exactly as you described. It is confusing and stressful. If you were feeling bad about leaving Lagos, the entire experience will make you want to leave, get to your destination and stay there forever!

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  3. Hahahahaaaaaaa @Are we done yet? Noooo that would be too
    easy..
    Buh Nigeria tho…hmmm

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  4. I feel your pain Sis.

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  5. “I have concluded with all the stamp duties, ineffective CBN policies etc in Nigeria they are looking for how to reduce the population. They want to kill us.”. – lol. Hilarious piece. Though it’s not funny while experiencing it.

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  6. Arhg! What a drag!

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  7. It is well

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  8. coming back is not any better. I still don’t get why it takes luggage 2 hours to come out. Then annoying customs pple hanging by the door harrassing people.

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