Let’s Talk

To the bae-d and the bae-less…yes I made up the two words please sue me…the topic of discussion is friends of the opposite sex when it comes to your partner.

I am broaching this topic because I have had conversations with two people in different generations over the last two weeks and I realise it’s an issue for many people. Can your boy friend or girlfriend have friends of the opposite sex? Would it bother you? For the married folks do you have different standards for these types of relationships?  Some folks dont mind their boyfriends having female friends and vice versa but when the title changes it is an absolute no go area.

As for me – I never give too many things much thought – I exist in a self created bubble and certain things have never been an issue. My husband has many female friends – my nickname for him is agony uncle – some of these friends I am very familiar with and he seems to attempt to do a good job when it comes to trying to make them “our friends”. None of these friends of his seem to be ever present every waking moment, which might be a reason why I havr no issues with it. I also believe he isn’t very comfortable with many of my male friends so I limit he information I share with him about such and I am not trying to make them “our friends” like he does. You can call it double standards, actually it is double standards- but if it is not broken why fix it?

Please share your thoughts on your significant other being good friends with members of the opposite sex.

NESTR
OAD

7 Comments on Let’s Talk

  1. I think a lot depends on how the significant other handles the friendship. If you wave it in my face and act like you’re nothing without that friend, then it will be an issue.

    I have been on both sides. As the bff, I gave my friend and his gf SPACE, but she still hated me. She hated any girl that was his friend anyway. My friend also respected his relationship and once told me off coz he heard I crossed the line with her. He later apologised.

    Now as the gf, I dated one who was always telling me how him and the babe came up with one business plan or the other. He’d also confide in her about our relationship, which would always come back to me coz well, your friend has a friend. I have also been accused of being insecure over a bff. I drew the line there and told the guy to take a walk.

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  2. @ agony uncle.

    Don’t have an issue cos I have a couple of male friends dear to my heart and I’m def not giving them up for the world. Yes the relationship may change with me or them having a significant other, but not go extinct. I would def want to be cool with their significant other and vice versa. We don’t have to be all chummy but it would be great to be cool.

    At the end of the day, it’s all about managing relationships. Everyone should understand boundaries, and respect should be key. If I can’t trust you, I won’t be with you.

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  3. Chrisyinks // March 10, 2016 at 22:04 // Reply

    I don’t give much fuss about my SO having friends of the opposite sex. It’s more of a matter of how much I trust her than limiting her relationships with the male gender. If I can trust her and her discretion, why can’t I trust her choices?

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  4. Lol @ agony uncle… most of my friends are guys, i don’t meddle in their relationships because it’s none of my business except when they just seen my opinion based on some issues. On the other hand i make my SO comfortable with my male friends and I let him in on the what’s important.

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  5. Need*

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  6. I think we all agree here that the underlying factor is Trust.

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  7. Life doesn’t necessarily have to end after marriage. Simple! Abi?!

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