Levels

So you know I am all about my own version of responsible parenting God help me. I refuse to buy toys for my children- a very hardline but it has worked so far. All their toys have been gifts or freebies from certain events or I just make the toys myself (hey Crochet is king) – I may open an online store accessible in Nigeria – will you guys buy? I do buy them books though.

I have so far dodged party questions for the twins first year birthday. I just want them to have their pictures taken, but even with the prices I am seeing for the pictures I am having a rethink. Already working on their prop outfits and stuff but like I said I am having a rethink. 

The thing is this, parties cost money, so you cant just throw excercise book, pencil and chewing gum in a plastic bag anymore. Parties have a theme now and the whole party generally follows the theme. I am sitting here thinking maybe my children should only celebrate milestone birthdays like 5 and 10, the others should be parlour events with food and cake. 

It’s ok to ask that in place of gifts people donate the money to a cause or bring a book. It gives the gifter, the option to spend as little or as much as they want. For my shower, my SIL asked folks nicely to bring books – new or used instead of cards and to sign them. My children have about a 30 book library right now. For my nephew’s birthday party instead of gifts she asked for folks to donate to his 529 (college savings). You could litterally donate as little as $5. 

If you are in the financial services sector in Nigeria all this is a thing. No firm that I am aware of has tapped into the “future” market properly. They have the children’s savings account which generally yields nothing. But no dedicated investment instruments etc for children at least none that are widely advertised. If you know of any please tell us.

This post was inspired by the comment below on a baby app forum.

It just made me think, this child had a better head start than many of her peers. Nigerians we only shout you will be head of your class and not tail etc when in actuality we as parents haven’t fully ensured we give them the landing to aspire beyond.
What are your thoughts on this type of topic? Invest now or wait till they get older to get an inheritance or perhaps God will provide when the time comes? I for starters need to do better and stop thinking about just a college fund and inheritance. 

“Giving our kids what we didn’t have is not buying them the things we didn’t have, it’s about creating access to things/events or experiences that can dramatically influence the course of their lives positively”. – OAD.

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO WIN THAT N30K HERE

12 Comments on Levels

  1. Pynk this is just an amazing post. I stopped my hubby from hosting a one year party for our baby . the funds were channeled to her account . However the idea of stock is really cool.
    I’m not to sure about how healthy our own stock market on Naija is. but it’s worth the try.
    This is a wake up call. I just sent this image to my hubby the “gadget” man.
    Well donew OAD. I love this post

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  2. chrisyinks // April 17, 2017 at 18:57 // Reply

    Loved the post and very much loved the climax statement.
    I think it’s striking a balance between those two choices. As much as one tries to invest, memorable events (whichever way one defines it) should still be celebrated.

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  3. Great idea! I’ve never really thought about child and gift buying in this light. But it seems like such a cool thing to do for your kids. Just reminded me of a video of a outrageously expensive one year olds party i saw on ig. That party was def for the parents and not the kid who looked clueless, lol. Anyways i’m definitely leaning towards this school of thought now.

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  4. Great idea! I’ve never really thought about gifting children things in this light. But it seems like such a cool thing to do for your kids. Just reminded me of a video of an outrageously expensive one year olds party i saw on ig. That party was def for the parents and not the kid who looked clueless, lol. Anyways i’m definitely leaning towards this school of thought now.

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  5. And i also agree with Chrisyinks,striking the balance is key.

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  6. This post is amazing. I’ve never really thought about it but I’m all for the idea. I didn’t have parties growing up; I mean, there was certainly cake (homemade) and food and drinks at home and taking cake and drinks to school and being allowed to wear party clothes that day instead of the regular uniform, but no over the top shindig and I think I turned out okay.
    Unfortunately, my parents weren’t buying me stock instead.
    I totally agree. Milestone birthdays, celebrate all the way. For others, it really isn’t necessary. Give them things/events or experiences that can dramatically influence the course of their lives positively instead but like Clare said, I’m not sure about our stock market in Nigeria.
    No toys? What happens when they stop getting toys as gifts or freebies? Children shall not live by homemade toys alone na.

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  7. This post is amazing. I’ve never really thought about it but I’m all for the idea. I didn’t have parties growing up; I mean, there was certainly cake (homemade) and food and drinks at home and taking cake and drinks to school and being allowed to wear party clothes that day instead of the regular uniform, but no over the top shindig and I think I turned out okay.
    Unfortunately, my parents weren’t buying me stock instead.
    I totally agree. Milestone birthdays, celebrate all the way. For others, it really isn’t necessary. Give them things/events or experiences that can dramatically influence the course of their lives positively instead but like Clare said, I’m not sure about our stock market in Nigeria.
    No toys? What happens when they stop getting toys as gifts or freebies? Children shall not live by homemade toys alone na.

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  8. You’re right Ms Pynk. I personally think 1st birthdays should not be elaborate…probably a parlor thing with very close friends and family and lovely photographs to remember the event…because.. the child is too young to appreciate all that you’re doing anyways.
    As Chrisyinks said…memories do matter. .so it’s important to strike a balance.
    I love the idea for using the money to fund a college degree. Makes sense

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  9. The stock idea makes so much sense. Growing up we didn’t get parties, my mum tree each child one birthday party, mine was my first which she swears was a total waste of money cos I don’t remember it, my Sister’s was her 7th which she still remembers today. No stocks tho..

    I”m not sure about the Nigerian stock market but when I have kids, this is what I’ll do (so help me God). And your SIL’s gift idea for her son is genius.

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  10. So my long comment disappeared..
    Genius idea.. I’d do same for my children when I have them.

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  11. This is exactly what I’ve always had in mind. I have recently contacted an assets management company as I’m not good at choosing nor knowing what’s up with the stock market…so in the lines of mutual funds for my child.

    Please Ms Pynk, if you could, I would like a sort of Advisory post on investment in Nigeria.

    I know that’s asking a lot with you being so busy. E jo ma binu.

    Happy Easter in arrears! It’s still the season.

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    • Lol – Lounge I will see if I can find someone to write us one or possibly do the conparisons on the different vehicles availabe

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